I’ve been struggling to find the words to write a blog. My family has been going through a lot recently and I’m starting to feel it. My mind is a cluttered mess. From trying to figure out the best care for my Dad and communicating amongst us 4 siblings more then we’ve communicated together in years because of distance (blessings in the midst of trials), to a stomach bug hitting the house, to swimming lessons, baseball practices, soccer practices, therapy appointments, Chiro appointments, and both of us working, busy is an understatement. (Oh, and yesterday my phone decided to not let me call out or receive calls…and it’s doing it again today. So just add it to the list of things I need to get figured out.) I feel like I’m on the constant verge of tears.
But after realizing I responded to an email to the wrong person this morning, and now as I’m making lunch for the 2 littlest littles, it all of a sudden clicked. It’s time to call a time out. A year ago, the slightest little mistake would have made me internalize and beat myself up for the whole day. The smallest mistake would be the end of the world inside of me. Today I fixed the issue, told myself everyone will make mistakes, I’m not perfect (how badly I wish I was, however), and decided to call a time out.
Last week my boss, mentor, and friend posted on FB that she ‘called a time out.’ Now the picture attached to her post was much different then what mine would be. Her picture consisted of pavement alongside green grass and tennis shoes. She just ran 5 miles. I don’t run. Picture the Friends episode of Phoebe. That is me.
We’re also at very different stages in our parenting game. While she’s running the track with her teenage daughter, I’m just trying to go on a walk…but we have to stop every few steps to pick dandelions or yet another rock and stick. It’s the season of life I’m in and that’s ok.
So what does my time out look like? I wish that it was taking the 2 little ones outside or to the park for a 1/2 hour. But I looked around, and knew exactly what my time out needed to be at that very moment.
I’m sure most of you have heard the phrase ‘Cluttered house, cluttered mind.’ That is me. I’ve been so busy going going going, that my desk has been a disaster for far too long. The house has also been neglected for far too long. I absolutely LOVE being clean and organized, but figuring out HOW to keep up with it has always been a struggle. Add 4 kids to the mix and it’s room for disaster. While I’m writing this, my 4 year old has dumped out the bandaids all over the floor and left the room. Seriously? What was the point of that? But that’s my season. It’s a beautiful mess. So now I’m calling a time out. To re-center myself, the house, and my workspace.
I’m blessed to work alongside such a beautiful soul who is so wise. (Actually TWO beautiful and wise souls!!) To remind me…”It’s time to play a bigger game.”
~XOXO
Living With Intention and Giving Myself Grace 