Hello Beautiful Friends. It’s been a while and I felt the urge to write. It’s therapeutic for me, and especially today, something has been heavy on my heart.
It’s only the beginning of the first week of summer break, and it’s been a HARD week. Haha! Yep. It’s only Tuesday and I’m at the brink of a cry fest. I can feel it brewing. But why? Summer break is what we all look forward too! It’s filled with beach and pool fun. Summer camps. Weekend or Week-long get aways. Staying up late (my oldest was out until almost 10:30 last night having a bonfire and roasting s’mores at a friends house!) and sleeping in. Having no agenda. Ohhhh hello no agenda! Sounds magical, doesn’t it? In this house, it can be cause for disaster. Truth is, the change in routine of having no routine is just plain hard. And I wasn’t prepared.
Many of you have seen our wins on social media lately. It’s always so easy to post about fun times isn’t it? Our sweet #3 had his first play date with his best buddy from school. Our oldest turned 10 and had 2 birthday parties, along with some of our own little family celebrating. Just the 6 of us.
In between party 1, a fun family weekend, and party 2, our sweet #3 got sick. In a way that used to be our normal, but currently is not our normal. Thank you Jesus!…Then he had his last day of school and his Preschool graduation.
So fun, right!?! The 2 big boys had their last day of school. 
Then I potty trained the Little Miss for 3 days and Kylan went to his first birthday party for a school friend!
And now. Now I’ve been getting ready for a garage sale. Which, by the way, could quite possibly be a harder task with a 2-1/2 year old, then potty training was.
This baby is the new proud owner of a cute, never-been-used, security blanket!…It’s one of many items that has found its way from a table in the garage, back inside. Lord, grant me patience.
And summer school started yesterday. Which is now 4 hours, as opposed to his normal 2-1/2 this past year. And it’s in the morning, as opposed to the afternoon…like it was this past school year.
So behind all those cute smiles above (biased, I know.), is a child who craves consistency and routine. But life can’t stop, right? There’s always going to be birthday parties. And visitors. And graduations. And play dates. Thankfully there won’t always be potty training…or garage sales. Lol. I think I’m in over my head with that one. But life as we know it, is going to keep happening.
Yesterday, life around him came to a head with a pretty intense melt down. My husband is so good at reminding me that our normal used to be him getting texts like yesterday, every single day. Multiple times a day. The problem is. He’s getting bigger and stronger. And I’m getting older…or weaker. Lol. Carrying a child up 2 flights of stairs, who’s thrashing around, able to grip onto the railing so you can’t keep going up the stairs, kicking, and as I took a corner, he threw his head back and hit it on a corner. It made for this mama’s heart to be beating out of her chest, and be completely out of breath by the time all was said and done.
And then, in the middle of the night he got sick and woke up with a fever this morning…I think my heart is still beating out of my chest.
I have a super busy, and what I think, should be fun summer planned. We’re planning a day in the city for Father’s Day. We’ll be going to MN for a week so the boys can go on a hiking/exploring trip up north. We have 2 different weekends planned in WI at resorts with 2 sets of Grandparents. Their Papa Hassler will come for a weekend and go to the air and water show in Chicago. We haven’t told the kids yet, but we’re going to Nashville for a long weekend to visit family. Talan has basketball camp 2 weeks and will be away at camp for 1 week. Life…and plans will be happening. And that won’t go without changing up routines and schedules. So remember. Behind every picture of a ‘highlight reel,’ is quite possibly a child still learning to adapt to changes in routine. There may be a child, or Mom (Lol!) about to have a melt down. Or there won’t. Because we are doing things to help ease us into these transitions of life. But as of right now, these past weeks have been fun, but also hard.
So the million dollar question I tend to ask myself. A lot…Why? Why would God bless me with a stressed child when this Mama, herself, needs to focus on stress regulation or I too, get thrown way out of whack in a completely different way? So here’s my million dollar answer…
Because I rely on Him to help me every step of the way. Because what He has blessed, yes, blessed me with, has taught me to show compassion and understanding deeply. What He’s blessed me with, has allowed me to show grace. Because the Lord knows, I’ve been shown grace. What He’s blessed me with has been more patience then I ever knew was possible. But man, I’m constantly praying for more patience. I feel it wearing thin many times. And when it’s almost gone, I’m able to muster up just a little bit more. He’s made me realize I wasn’t meant to walk this journey alone. He’s blessed me with a husband who is nothing like me, so we balance each other out and we make a good team. He’s blessed me with an amazing team of professionals who know more then I do. And without judgement. I’ve had to be vulnerable and be OK with not having all the answers. I’m constantly learning and growing as a Mother. I actually enjoy showing others the messy side of being a Mom. Because being a mom IS messy. It is not Instagram worthy pictures all of the time. Don’t let that fool you. Lord knows it fools me all the time, and my husband is good at reminding me that it isn’t real life. That’s everyone’s highlight reel.
Remember that Mama’s. It’s OK to be messy. And it’s OK to show the world you’re messy.
Here’s to our messy, yet magical summers with our babies we were blessed with. Embrace every bit of this journey. And on your (or their) hard days, know that you’re not alone. Just love them…and yourself, through it.
~xoxo
Living With Intention and Giving Myself Grace 