Living With Intention and Giving Myself Grace

I sit and I wonder. What could I have done? Should I have gotten things checked out sooner? I can tell you, there have been MANY times I wondered if things were “normal,” but who’s to say what normal even is? We shouldn’t want to be in the norm, right? So I went with it. I embraced his differences and his quirkiness. I allowed myself to be exhausted day in and day out, because that’s just the little boy that he is…and has been for 4 years. He’s his very own, special little guy. He makes people laugh with his goofiness every day. But there have also been many frustrations. And I’ve tried to embrace those frustrations. Many days I would fall short. (Can we say…counting down the hours, minutes, and seconds until it was nap time or bed time? 😬) I would tell myself, “someday this little boy is going to go far with being so strong willed. Such a free spirit.” I honestly can’t explain the type of kid he is. He is so very different from his 2 older brothers. But that’s what I’ve loved about him. That’s what I’ve loved about all of my children. They’re all so uniquely different from each other.

But then preschool came…and he’s not in the “norm.” He doesn’t fit into the status quo of where a 4 year old should be. What should I have done differently prior to preschool? I should have forced reading time. He wouldn’t sit for a book. Books were bought and books were destroyed. I should have done more activities to teach him his colors and numbers and animals and letters. He wouldn’t sit and do activities. He would chew on the crayons or the markers or just plain have NO interest. I should have had him sit and watch catchy shows that would help him learn. He wouldn’t even look at a TV screen no matter what was on. He wanted to be outside watching the golfers in our backyard. Every. Single. Day. He would cheer for them and they loved it! He was the neighborhood watch dog. Every morning he would escape outside to watch everyone leave for work and yell, ‘What you doing? Where you going?…OK! Have good day!”

But now preschool has started…

He had a preschool evaluation. And then a play based assessment to get a clearer picture of where he’s at developmentally. And he doesn’t fit into the box. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disagreeing with their evaluation and I LOVE his teacher and the team working with him and rallying for him. But it doesn’t change that he doesn’t fit into the box of “normal” or “average.”

What he does fit into is this:

Kylan Jack.

Different.

Unique.

Loving. He LOVES his Mama ❤️

Quirky.

Random.

Spirited.

Strong willed.

Funny.

Energetic.

Lover of Life.

Exploratory.

Challenging.

Exhausting.

A Blessing.

Kylan Jack, you are so very loved. Whatever path the good Lord has us on with you, your Mama and Dad will be there every step of the way. Kylan’s story isn’t over. It’s just beginning. And it’s going to be amazing. And wonderful. And hard. And long. But also short. And exhausting. But oh so very rewarding ❤️

Happy 2018 🎉🥂🙌🏼😬💗 I love Christmas, but my favorite holiday has to be the New Year! Not because of the parties and the celebrating (We’ve never really done anything on New Years Eve or even made it until midnight 😂🤷‍♀️). But because of what the New Year brings. It’s a completely blank canvas. This is when I really get to sit and think about the past year and plan out all of my hopes and dreams for a brand new year. It’s not about ‘being a new me.’ It’s about becoming a better person then I was the day before…or year before 😉 I can tell you, that my constant prayer has been to be a better mom. Daily. I go to bed thinking I could have been better. I could have been more patient. I should have put my phone down more. I should have made them dinner instead of feeding them Cheerios and milk. The list goes on. This is one of the many reasons from where my theme ‘Living With Intention and Giving Myself Grace’ came from. (Living With Intention was first brought to light for me from my awesome, and extremely wise, boss, mentor, and friend💗)

What better way to start off January 1st, then to recap our 2017. The highs and the lows, and a few things in-between. If you don’t want to read our year in review, at least scroll to May 😂 and then to the bottom and click on the link I shared. It’ll be worth it ❤️

January: My Birthday! I know it’s close to Christmas, but I LOVE having a January Birthday! It basically wraps up my favorite time of year 😂😂 (September through…well, my birthday! 💗)

I was able to start 2 new jobs that allows me to work from home and do what I love! Administrative work and Managing. I’m an Executive Assistant for the owner of an amazing business that focuses on Salon and Spa Professionals, and I’m a Business Manager for a suite owner. (Independent stylist) They are both based in AZ and I absolutely love these ladies. I continue to grow and learn daily. Both of them have shown me so much grace this past year, and I’m forever grateful. February: Daddy held down the fort, while I had a weekend away for work, and it was my first time leaving Isla. It was an incredible experience to watch and be apart of, and Isla was happy when Mommy returned home 😉

March: My whole family on my mom and Step-Dad’s side was able to be together over Spring Break. I honestly don’t remember the last time we had all been together under one roof!

April: Talan was in soccer for the first time since he was 15 months old (I think??), and he was a natural for sure! (I would say I’m being biased, but the coach agreed! 😂🤷‍♀️) Only time will tell if soccer will be ‘his sport.’

May: Oh May…It was definitely our busiest, most challenging, and most exciting month of the year! It started out with an interview and a job offer for Travis (our prayers were answered)…to them wanting him to start on June 1st 😳 You can only imagine the roller coaster of emotions we went through with the thought of packing and moving in less than a month…with 4 kids!

May is also the end of a school year, and Talan turned 8!…we were blessed to have Grandma and Papa here, along with Auntie Stacy! Little did we know, we would all go down, one by one, with a stomach bug the evening of Talan’s birthday and the week our moving truck was coming to pick up all of our stuff! (I think 4 days before it was coming 😓) But we very slowly…got ourselves to Grayson’s preschool graduation! 😂😂

The truck got loaded…barely. And not very well. We’re talking things broken, pantry items exploding all over other items. It. Was. A. Mess.

The last one affected with the stomach bug…Kylan Jack. He got sick the night before we were to leave AZ. And he got it the absolute worst out of anyone. Oh, and did I mention we had no washer and dryer as they were on the truck already heading to IL…and he was throwing up all over blankets and freshly shampoo’d carpets 😩 We decided to tell them to keep the deposit on our rental home and we ditched that state as fast as we could 😂 A beautiful mess, right?

Which brought us to June 🤣: The is the month we called ourselves ‘homeless.’ Travis started his new job and I headed to MN with the kids where we stayed with Grandparents during this time. We are so thankful for family helping us through this transition! We were able to reunite our little family and move into a home on Father’s Day!

July: Lots of visitors to help us get settled!August: August was all about preparing for a new school year in a new school. (It’s a lot of work!)

Papa Hassler visiting and meeting Isla for the first time! Along with planning and throwing my sister’s baby shower!…And then actually STARTING school! 😅September: We had our 11 year wedding anniversary! And my new niece, Eliana Amanda Jae, was born!

October: Isla turned ONE! November: It’s the season of Birthdays! Grayson turned 6 and Kylan turned 4! We were also able to travel back to MN for Thanksgiving!December: My sister and I had our first annual Christmas cookie baking weekend. Which was most definitely a beautiful mess! 😂💗

Daddy had a birthday! And we celebrated Christmas with Papa Hassler one weekend, and Grandma and Papa Mark the following weekend!

Phew 😅 2017 was full of wonderful memories, challenges, and new beginnings. Yesterday I came across this vlog on FB that I’m going to share here. I’m planning on putting this idea in place in 2018, and maybe some of you will too! 💗 Peace, Love, and Blessings to you all in 2018!

~XOXO

Life has so many interruptions, don’t they? A year ago on New Years Eve, we dealt with our scariest croup moment to date with our Kylan Jack. It made for our first ever ER visit (besides Grayson’s visit just a week earlier due to sticking a round little LEGO up his nose 😂🤦🏼‍♀️🤷‍♀️), and a ride in an ambulance after 2 steroid treatments that didn’t work like they wanted. Of course, by the time they got him to the hospital, things had calmed down and we were sent home. So it’s no surprise that last evening we did a ginger home remedy for his terrible cough, and now I’m sitting here, on New Years Eve, at 4am, searching remedies for an ear infection so we don’t have to go the ER route. Time can’t go any slower waiting for the Minute Clinic to open, then when you have a 4 year old screaming on and off, thrashing around in your bed. (He’s calm and sleeping at the moment 😉🙏🏼) I have a throbbing headache because I’ve had more interrupted sleep the past couple nights then I have had in a long time! We’re talking high fevers, a cough so bad he was throwing up, and now his ear 😩 P.S. How do you get your child to stop snorting back all his mucus??😖 Despite all of my ‘plans,’ another New Years Eve is going to come and go, with a sick little one to tend to, and a list of things not accomplished heading into a new year, because of life’s interruptions. Life isn’t perfect. Life is a beautiful mess, and I’ll try to embrace these messy moments. This king size bed used to feel SO big, and as we have all 3 boys sleeping in here tonight 😳, the bed feels like it’s shrinking. In reality, these boys are growing. Embrace your messes. Embrace your interruptions. Give yourself grace. Tomorrow’s a new day.

~XOXO

What better way to start off a New Year, then to randomly wake up on a Saturday morning with a messy house, a pretty sick child, a never ending list of what I want to get done between today and tomorrow…and decide to start a blog! Haha! I texted my husband while he was out grocery shopping asking if I could, so here I am…this is my year of Intention. The year to step away from all of the many distractions we have and live a life of Intention and Grace. This is OUR year. (We say that every year! Hahaha!) But finally, no more unanswered prayers going into a new year. Our prayers we had been praying for were finally answered in 2017, and they were better than we could have hoped for. We can go into a new year confidentally, not lost. We can set goals as a family and truly believe we can make those goals happen! The past 3 years have been hard, but it also could have been so much worse. Sometimes you have to go through some pretty tough life experiences, to teach you your greatest lessons. Today I focus on living a life of Gratitutde. I’ve always liked to consider myself a pretty positive person, and I continue to strive to be just that. Every. Single. Day.

With this blog I hope you can laugh right along with me, and possibly cry with me. Life is messy. Life isn’t perfect. But it’s trying to find that silver lining. Stay tuned for HOW I intend to live a life of Intention, and the changes we’ve already started putting in place for our family…and why!

So here’s to 2018! If it is God’s plan for each of us, we are given a whole new year. 365 days. 525,600 minutes. Make them count!

~XOXO