What I Like About Today

As I was driving back home from the hospital last night, I had just gotten off the phone with my mom, and my phone reminder went off, ‘write about what I liked today.’ And the tears just started running.

What DO I like about today??

In one of my first blogs, I had posted a link to a vlog about writing something every single day that you like or are thankful for. Because even on those hard days, it’s so important to find something to be thankful for.

As I was driving home I couldn’t help but think how hard today was. And the past few days have been. I’ve been at the hospital. Watching my Dad lay there sedated with tubes coming out of his body. It’s awful. I’ve also been the only one of his kids that has been able to be at the hospital. And that’s awful. Don’t get me wrong. We’ve all been in very close communication. And the love and support we give to each other, being miles apart, I can’t help but feel extremely blessed. But being there ‘alone,’ is hard.

My sister and her whole family unfortunately came down with the new strain of flu, and she was contagious until today. And my brothers live far away.

So what do I like about today?

Today was hard. We’re getting no answers as to why this is all happening. They still aren’t sure why he’s so confused/incoherent. His head scans came back normal. At first they were saying blood clot in the lungs because of his difficulty breathing. Yesterday’s ultrasound on his legs showed no blood clot. They’ve been saying he’s meeting criteria for Sepsis, but he’s not meeting criteria for everything. They did an MRI on his surgery site last night to see if there’s an underlining infection they can’t see. The Dr told me he’s thinking it’ll be unlikely it’ll show any infection, as his foot looks ‘good.’ But they can’t find the source of infection from any other tests, either. He came in with renal kidney failure, and that IS improving with the treatment they are doing to liven up the kidney. (He only has one to begin with) They thought they could start weaning him off of the heavy sedation to remove the breathing tube eventually, but yesterday morning his X-Ray showed his lungs were worse, and they said they had to get him back on the stronger sedation and keep him heavily sedated and don’t want him stimulated at all. I ask how long he’ll be heavily sedated before they try to wean him off again. The answer is “this is where we like him.” Well that’s nice, but I don’t. I want my Dad to wake up. I want to let him know I’m here and that Corrie and Brent will be there tomorrow (today). So I do. I don’t know if he’s hearing me. I ask if he’s showing any improvement with all of his numbers or if he’s staying the same. She said today he’s just stayed the same. I’m thinking “what are you going to do to get him to improve!?!”

I get a call that Kylan and I missed our appointment. I said that couldn’t be, our standing appointment is always on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday! She explained I switched the appointments around this week because of them being closed 2 days. I just start crying. She probably put in my notes, ‘DO NOT call and let her know she misses appointments ever again.’ LOL! My husband called back and got it straightened out for me.

So what do I like about today (yesterday)?

What I liked today was this…That my dad is only an hour and a half away and I could be there while my other siblings couldn’t.

I loved going out to eat with my Aunt Peggy. We had a lot of laughs. Laughing’s my favorite.

I LOVE that he’s now so close to many of his siblings (he has 15). They are his people. His tribe. And they love him. And they love us 4 kids.

I love that my husband was able to work from home and hold down the fort on the home front and has been so gentle, kind, loving, and supportive to me.

I love how even though my sister has been sick, she’s been a huge source of all communication and has been in close contact with the Dr’s and nurses to relay all information. Processing hard information and then trying to relay information is not my strong suit.

I loved hearing my brother got a flight from Alaska and will be here tomorrow (today), at 8:00am. He’s the brains of the family.

I loved talking to my mom. Because no matter how old you are, you still need your mom.

There’s always rainbows in the midst of the storms. You just have to find them.

~XOXO