A Letter To My Sweet Grayson James

To My Sweet Second Child,

I get it. You’re somewhat lost in the shuffle. I call you my ‘poor, neglected, middle child’ even though there’s 4 of you, because, well…you are OUR middle child.

Talan has always been our easiest and most laid back child. He’s adventurous. He’s a straight A student. He aims to please and wants to know he’s making us proud. Which he is. He’s an incredible kid.

Kylan gets lumped into ‘Kylan and Isla.’ Although both of you are in the middle of the pack, he’s more of a twin with your little sister. He demands attention. And if he’s not getting it, even if it’s negative attention, he figures out a way to get it. He’s been our biggest challenge and we are continuing to learn how to parent him daily. He takes up a lot of our energy. He surprises us daily and we’re proud of him. He too, is an incredible kid.

Then there’s your sister. The youngest of 4. The only girl. The one that brings a whole lot a sugar and spice to our family. You tend to be the most doting on her and tell her she’s ‘so cute’ or ‘beautiful’ on the daily. To see your relationship blossoming between the two of you is heartwarming. You will be the brother she leans on for comfort if she’s having a bad day. She brings a whole new dynamic to our family that we all love. She’s an incredible little person. Definitely sassy. But incredible non the less.

And then there’s you. Where do you stand in all of this? You’re still trying to figure out your place. But let me tell you. I get you. Trust me. I. Get. You. I too was the 2nd child of 4. And I truly was the middle child with your uncles being twins. I texted your Auntie yesterday joking that I got the short end of the stick. Your aunt and uncles were smart. Your uncles…like REALLY smart. They were awesome soccer players and well, they were identical twins. So there’s always that. Your aunt was smart and the pretty one. She liked having a little too much fun in high school. And it was fun to watch from the sidelines. Your Mama, however, struggled. In all aspects of life. And I see a lot of you in me. And son, it WILL get better. You WILL find your way. Although it won’t be easy it will be so rewarding. You see, your Mama struggled in school. Really struggled. I learned to use my goofiness to mask my insecurities about not being ‘smart.’ And now it’s not used to mask anything. I love making people laugh and I love to laugh at myself. Besides severe allergies making me look sick at a very young age, then I started to get a different kind of sick when I was old enough to play school sports. Not that I would be any good anyways, because let’s face it, I was accident prone and had no coordination, so I successfully got myself out of even having to TRY to be in sports. But I still felt the world was against me. Getting sick made me have to work harder. It also made me realize that being ‘book smart’ is not everything. My common sense is pretty great. I also learned that if schools were more hands on and visual, I could have done better. The minute I put myself through school that I had a passion for AND was more hands on, I excelled! I actually graduated with honors. Surprising, right? Your time is coming. If school was putting puzzles together, building LEGO sets like a boss and playing with dinosaurs all day, along with being more hands on and visual in every subject, you too, would excel by leaps and bounds. But we have to get you through the tough stuff first. The not so fun stuff. I learned grades don’t mean much once you’re older but as long as you give 110% in whatever you do, that’s success. Being kind and genuine, being a hard worker and never giving up, all while having a sense of humor, will get you just as far in life. But maybe in a completely different way. But it will still be amazing. I see you in me.

I see this little boy who feels like the world is against him. But every now and then let’s out the most amazing one liners. You, buddy, are funny! But right now, you’re struggling. And I see you. You told me a couple weeks ago that “you’re sick of feeling sad.” And I hear you. I. Hear. You. Your Mama has been there. Although you may feel ‘lost in the shuffle’ right now. Your Dad and my conversations are mostly about YOU these days. We want to see you gain confidence and come into your own amazing person. We want to see this anxiety ridden, stressed little boy, enjoy this amazing life and have your own story to tell. Because it will be amazing. And just like our Kylan Jack, we will help you get there. We will figure you out. In a completely different way. Because you are Grayson James. We are proud of you. And you too, are an incredible kid.